The Advent/Funeral wreath

I went to Mass right after my shift. Good thing I saw the Advent wreath the moment I entered the church or else I would've completely forgotten that it's already the season of Advent. 

I kept staring at the Advent wreath not because it stood out or it looked comely, but because it looked like a funeral wreath. Yes, you read it right. A funeral wreath.

My attention was drawn to the Advent wreath. I couldn't focus. I knew that it had to mean something. The celebration ended and I was still staring at it. I was thinking that an Advent wreath should symbolize the beginning of something (if you think I have forgotten my Latin, think again. Advent comes from adventus, meaning coming). But instead of reminding me the start of something new, it reminded me about the finality of things. Then it hit me: since there is a start, there is also an end. The funeral slash Advent wreath reminded me that all things come to an end, but we know for a fact that death is not the final word. Maybe that's why the Advent wreath is green and circular. There is always hope. I remember the young woman who lost her mother during Yolanda's rage, but in the midst of death, the young woman gave birth. She might've lost someone, but there was the new born child. Let me quote what my friend, Bro. Donnie, mentioned during the November 17 episode of Langit sa Lupa: "May dahilan pa rin para magdiwang dahil may buhay sa gitna ng kawalan."

I realized that Advent not only reminds us of the beginning but also the end of things, but in the proper context. Since we all know that there is an end to everything, we need to be prepared. Who knows, you might suddenly die of a heart attack after reading this post. Doctors can diagnose what your sickness is, but they cannot tell until when you will live. We don't have expiration dates stamped on our foreheads. Just prepare.We don't know until when we'll be here.

I looked at the Advent wreath again before leaving the church. Much to my surprise, the wreath looked lovely. It looked different. I guess when you see things beyond their looks, you'll have a much better perspective about it.

Tingin tingin din 'pag may time.

Walking along Paseo de Reilly

I went to Ateneo last week to meet a friend. Everything was usual; the traffic along Makati, the undisciplined bus drivers along EDSA, the ray of the sun in the middle of the day punishing my back...you know, the usual stuff.

Just like Lisa Simpson's advice to her dad, take a nice long walk if you can't anymore take the swirling thoughts in your brain. I decided to walk around the campus while waiting for my friend (and for the benefit concert). I didn't actually care where I was going, the important thing for me was to walk around and straighten my deranged thoughts. Then I saw this narrow road called Paseo de Reilly. I'm not so sure if this Reilly is a true-to-life person but according to my friend, Reilly was a Jesuit who was mugged in that place. Tsk tsk, poor guy. A Jesuit who was mugged in his own baluarte. Anyway, I passed by Paseo de Reilly several times while walking around. One time I even slipped and almost hit my head (2 things: good thing no one was there to see this very embarrassing moment, or too bad no one was there if ever I hit my head and I needed help).

Come concert time. I was so sleepy and I was sorely tempted to go home after hearing two or three songs (I went to Ateneo right after my shift. Lesson learned: sleep, sleep and sleep if you came from work). But since I was already there, I decided to stay even if it means sleeping throughout the concert. I was already falling from my seat inside the Church of the Gesu when suddenly, 'Love is the answer' was sung. I didn't expect it since most of the songs I heard were composed by Jesuits such as Fr. Manoling Francisco and Fr. Arnel Aquino, and hearing a Raymond Hannisian song (who I bet not most of you know) in the midst of a 'religious' concert seems a little out of place. But what I did not expect the most was that 'Love is the answer' made me cry. Yes, cry (you know, when your eyes start to swell and water comes out of it). I've heard and sang that song like a million times and this is the only instance it made me cry. It brought back a lot of memories.

Until now, I'm still listening to 'Love is the answer.' I'm also studying the music sheet so I can play it on my piano. Most importantly, that song made me realize that love is the answer to all of my questions, and love is the only thing that will help me stop my endless wandering. Looking back, my endless wandering are my struggles I wrote about on my previous entries. I don't know how will my struggles end, but I know it will come to an end. I don't know how, but I know it will be shown to me one step at a time. 

I'll be in Ateneo again next week. And yes, I will pass by Paseo de Reilly once again. That long, narrow and slippery road where I almost bumped my head. Don't worry, I'll wear a helmet next time I walk along that road. That way my head is safe and sound.